The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
