I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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