even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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