Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
