kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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