I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
