marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we have pet lesbian snakes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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