Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize
