If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
