Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize