he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
