i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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