Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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