Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
