3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
