I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Randomize
