What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
