I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
