is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
do nipples grow back?
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