hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize