it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
