Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
