mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
