no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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