Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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