I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
