He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
