First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
