Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
