lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
