Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
