Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
