we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
