She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
