Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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