all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
