you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
