I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
