Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
