we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
