Me too!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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