she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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