He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
