If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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