I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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