In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
