After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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