is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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