I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Everyone says I win the strip club
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
