is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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