thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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