It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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