true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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