she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
