he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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