Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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