Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
