Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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