We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
