If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm passing your future prison.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize