just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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