Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize