that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
