Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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