We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize