i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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