We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Drake has all the answers
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
